Yes, I know. You were getting sick and tired of stories about Amy Winehouse. And you’ve probably read enough about Scientology to hold you for the next few months. But have you considered the possibilities of a story about Amy Winehouse and Scientology? That’s right: the singer whose entire life consists of a string of shrewd, well thought out decisions is considering joining up with the cult that made Tom Cruise whatever he is today. Apparently Scientology’s “celebrity center” in LA has been in touch with Amy, touting the virtues of their Narconon program for cleaning up even a hopelessly drug-sodden junkie with the willpower of overcooked spaghetti. Sounds like a good deal to Amy:

They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a programme so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”

(A little note here: Blake will not be out of prison any time soon.) Honestly, this story is like chocolate covered bacon for malicious gossip bloggers. The only way you could improve it would be to call in Michael Bay as special effects consultant in charge of cool explosions, or possibly throw in a sex tape scandal…. Although, looking at that picture, a sex tape really doesn’t sound like such a good idea.