Two Women Enter, No Women Leave

By Mr. Atoz in Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton

Paris, Lindsay, and other monsters

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are both increasingly irrelevant human beings, but one man thinks he’s figured out a way they could begin to pay for their crimes. Hollywood Boxing Federation promoter Damon Feldman wants to see the two frenemies duke it out for charity—and even in these inflationary times, a million-dollar purse is nothing to sneeze at. Feldman insists the event would all be in good fun:

We’re calling it the battle of the bad girls of Hollywood,” says Feldman. “They would use big pillow-sized boxing gloves. This would be nothing more than a fun match-up, and Paris and Lindsay have both dabbled with boxing training in the past.

Actually, based on viewing a couple of the Saw movies (I’m professionally obligated to watch this stuff—don’t judge me), I could think of far more interesting ways for these two to settle their differences. But there’s an even simpler solution. Just sell people the right to give Paris or Lindsay one really solid punch—your choice of celebutard, one punch to a customer. You could raise vastly more than a million dollars going that route. Hell, the potential money generated by DVD sales alone boggles the mind.

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