This week marks the premiere of the latest installment in the Twilight saga (now with extra werewolf goodness!), which already feels twice as long as the Harry Potter series and about one-eighth as interesting. At any rate, the usual suspects—Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, and the like—hit the talk show circuit to promote their project, and somehow wound up spending an awful lot of time discussing Taylor Lautner’s underwear. Not the underwear he had on—although I’ll bet way too many Twilight fans were speculating about that—but the Team Jacob underwear you can buy as a sort of counterpart to the infamous RPattz panties. Not many people buy both; I think fans choose one or the other and then square off and have gang wars based on their panty selection. At any rate, the topic provided plenty of talk show fodder for Leno and Lautner, including a horrifying story involving a forty-something fan and her teenage daughter:

The mother skips on up. She goes, ‘Excuse me, Taylor.’ She grabs my wrist. ‘I’m wearing the Team Taylor panties right now. Is there anyway I can take them off for you and have you sign them quick?’ And the daughter goes ‘Mom, come on!’ “

Over on Conan, Stewart agreed it was “weird that we have underwear with Taylor’s face on it” (haven’t seen those), and thought it was a bit creepy that her Bella doll—sorry, action figure—was so generously endowed. I honestly feel sorry for these people and the craziness they’ve unwittingly bought into. Of course, it’s only going to get worse. Stay tuned for Breaking Dawn, when the Renesmee action figure drives the creepiness to an exciting new level.