The shoes of dead people never wear out, and neither do stories about trying to market them. It’s been nearly a year since Courtney Love went ballistic about Doc Martens’ attempt to use her late husband’s image in an ad campaign; a rep said, “It’s outrageous that a company is allowed to commercially gain from such a despicable use of her husband’s picture.” What really put Courtney’s knickers in a twist, as Celebitchy points out, was her despicably nonexistent cut from the deal. But, for whatever reason, Courtney isn’t at all offended by Converse’s Kurt Cobain Specials. In fact, she even authorized them—the first branded product using Kurt’s name that Courtney has authorized as executrix of the Cobain estate.

In fairness, Kurt was a much bigger fan of Converse than he ever was of Doc Martens. In fact, Kurt was wearing a pair of Black One Stars when he made his final exit. So wearing Kurt Cobain Converse is almost like an homage. A really creepy, stupid homage. The rest of Kurt’s Massive Headwound ensemble, including the shotgun, will have to be purchased separately.

Radiohead’s experiment in letting fans download their music and pay what they thought was appropriate had decidedly mixed results. But that’s not going to stop Courtney Love from going out and doing exactly the same thing. Or not. That seems to be the gist of this all too typical comment from Courtney’s epically unhinged MySpace page:

as for radiohead= they didnt jump off a REAL clifff, they bungee jumped you KNOW the kamikaze pilot in me wants to do the same damm thing except with the best material not live material and not what people have heard except as few pieces that people havebnrt heard mixed and recorded properly-= i also wanna mAke my Lachapelle videos as i woukldnt wantot owork with anyone else for Videos or anything- hes my bff and i love working with him he knows excactly how to pull me out of myself or any rut, with the real thing-

Translated from Courtney’s native Dementianese, this means…. Okay, I have no idea what this means, and anyone who can understand this gibberish should be tested for early onset Alzheimer’s. I do know that copying Radiohead won’t revive Courtney’s lost and largely imaginary hipness. Moreover, Courtney Love could offer her music as a free download with a complimentary gift certificate to Pizza Hut thrown in, and it would still be an overpriced ripoff. She’d be better off trying to promote her own genuinely unique talents. I try to read her blog entries, and it amazes me that anyone could teach themselves how to type with their knees while belted into a straitjacket.

Vince Vaughn & Knut the Polar Bear: Kindred Souls. (Ayyyy!)

Portia de Rossi hates gratuitous sex scenes. (CS)

Katie Holmes and the $600 million wedding contract. (Celebitchy)

Courtney Love talk smack about not talking smack about Madonna. (PB)

Ryan Phillipe = Faker. (WIMB)

Life Changing Movies: Everyone should have one. (Pajiba)

Two Lohans, many balls, much lameness. (IBBB)

Heather Mills hires publicist who communicates through Blogger. (GB)

Brandon Davis is so oily that hairstylists won’t touch him. (POTP)

Matt Damon: Sexiest Man Alive. (HO)

Tom Cruise shakes his thang. Kinda. (CityRag)

On May 28th, my inherent Pete Doherty “obsession” predicted that he and Courtney Love would become an official item. Much to Billy Corgan’s inevitable dismay, the Love-Doherty connection is indeed festering:

They’ve been in touch on and off over the past couple of years and she contacted him recently to tell him how proud she was of his successful stint in rehab. He was bowled over - smitten in fact. Pete thinks she’s a sex symbol and icon after going through so much herself. He hopes to spend a lot more time with her over the next few months and even says he wants new experiences with her.

Pete Doherty must be saved from the clutches of Love. Hurry up, Kate Moss!

Note: I get lots of emails about Pete Doherty, and a few of them ask me why I’m so obsessed with a drug addict that contributes nothing to society. However, a larger percentage of emails tell me that these Doherty posts are in fact quite amusing for their given purpose. In addition, while I’m not here to debate anyone’s effect on today’s yoots, Pete no longer indulges in the art of drug taking, so you’ll have to think of something else to bitch about. Surely, you’ll manage.

Previously: Love Wants Doherty, Hell Hath No Fury Like Love Scorned, Love Kisses Doherty.

J.K. Rowling never thought of those idiots who got Dumbledore tattoos, did she? (KIsP)

James Blunt found a smashing Halloween costume. (Celebrity Smack)

Courtney Love surprised to be banned from Claridge’s hotel after causing a fire. (Celebitchy)

Zak Efron is looking ever-so slightly masculine. (Gabby Babble)

Victoria Beckham thinks she’s worth more than Marilyn Monroe. (POTP)

Kirsten Dunst: This time, last year. Grandma. (IBBB)

Katie Price scrubs away the tacky quite well.
(Daily Stab)

Dane Cook will slam the door on your junk. (Pajiba)

Scott Storch: A penis wearing sunglasses. (Evil Beet)

Benicio Del Toro or Wolf Man? (CityRag)

25 Most Awesome Horror Clips. (Liquid Generation)

Courtney Love, aka “the grunge version of Yoko Ono,” has found yet another way to endear herself to her hordes of fans. The largely talent-free trainwreck has signed on as an executive producer for a planned Kurt Cobain biographical film based on Charles Cross’ biography Heavier than Heaven. Courtney’s attorney Howard Weitzman is another executive producer, just to make sure this puppy is nailed down tight.

Not that Courtney has any reason to expect problems. The later portions of Cross’ book were widely viewed as a collaboration between Cross and Courtney, and one friend of Kurt’s described it as “the Courtney-sanctioned version of history.” Also, the book is being adapted for the screen by David Benioff, whose previous ventures into biographical screenwriting include the eagerly awaited X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So we’re unlikely to see a repeat of the problems that led Courtney to crush Nick Broomfield like a bug when he suggested that Courtney was a less than model wife in a less than storybook marriage. And, after all, a sanitized and highly favorable screen bio is all Courtney needs to clear up her image problems, isn’t that right?

Tom Cruise will spend $10 million to prepare for Zenu’s attack. (Celebitchy)

Kiefer Sutherland: Get the details on his 2nd DUI. (Celebrity Smack)

Jessica Alba just loves to rub it in, baby. (IBBB)

Victoria Beckham and Tom Cruise: Which bitch wore it better? (Ayyyy!)

Lindsay Lohan: Soon to be unleashed? (Evil Beet)

Some jokes just never become less rank. (KIsP)

Okay, now Jennifer Lopez is just fucking with us. (Daily Stab)

Courtney Love needs one of those new style American bras. (Gabby Babble)

Justin Timberlake calls in to work for being hungover. (POTP)

Kanye West is the douchiest human. (The Blemish)

Courtney Love has had—well, let’s say a “colorful” career. After starting off as a Yoko Ono wannabe who managed to make Yoko look like the nice one, she moved on to singer (one good album—Live Through This—then nothing much) and actor (one good movie—The People vs. Larry Flynt—then nothing much). Now, the 43-year-old whatchamacallit is thinking about remaking herself as a style icon.

Specifically, Courtney is thinking about releasing her own scent. No, not like that—she wants to market one of those trademark fragrances that’s peddled by everyone from Mariah Carey to the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. To give her credit, she’s proceeding cautiously with this plan, because, as Courtney puts it, “nobody wants to smell like Eau de Controversy.” Courtney insists that her bad-girl days are behind her, and says she’s completely cleaned up her act:

I’m really just a Beverly Hills soccer mom who wants to be a real estate mogul and design clothes…. I can’t afford to be a 43-year-old rebel.

Maybe so. But even if she has managed to stop behaving like a demented, drug-addled skank for the time being, hooking up with Pete Doherty ought to get things back to normal in a jiffy.