Nerve.com has a great column up this week — The Twelve Greatest Opening Credits in Movie History:

With a few notable exceptions, the elaborate main title sequence has gone the way of the drive-in double feature. In fact, many of today’s movies eschew opening credits altogether, opting to plunge the audience directly into the experience and saving the who-did-whats for last.

Maybe I’m just watching the wrong films, but many that I’ve seen of late do include rather lengthy credit sequences. Whether or not these openings are necessary or even watchable depends on the film, of course, but as far as reeling me into the film’s tone and mood, I gotta go with the opening credits of Kill Bill: Vol. 1 and Trainspotting. Of course, these openings also tell the audience a great deal about the film’s main characters, and, ultimately, the appeal of a film, to me, is all about compelling characters. If I don’t give a crap, positive or negative, for the souls within the movie, then it’s all over, baby.

So, in the opening scene of Kill Bill: Volume 1, we learn the extent of Bill’s cold-blood nature when he intends to murder the pregnant Bride. Trainspotting’s opening monologue deals the first of many lists that help to structure what we witness of the characters’ anarchic behavior. Renton’s eloquent expressiveness helps us believe that, underneath his decaying body, a rational soul with some semblance of hope remains within.

Clips of both openers on the next page, and my apologies for speaking so much lately of cinema. I really should get a life.

Pages: 1 2

Well, it looks like neither Ewan McGregor nor Colin Ferrell will be “doing” Woody Allen again anytime soon. Allen’s latest film in the queue, Cassandra’s Dream, will go straight to the DVD bin:

Woody Allen’s “Cassandra’s Dream” is skipping the bigscreen and going direct to DVD in Germany after Constantin Film yanked the Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell drama from its theatrical lineup at the last minute.

“Cassandra’s Dream,” which was to be released Thursday, will go out on DVD this summer.

The last Allen film that failed to make it onto German screens was 2002’s “Hollywood Ending,” which has yet to be released on DVD here.

Clearly, there is no justice in this world. Germany apparently loves Tom Cruise yet hates Woody Allen. Hell, even Jessica Simpson got a limited theater run, such as it was, for her latest pile of cinematic crap. Yet we can rest assured that the lovely and dashing Ewan still has that produce career to fall back upon. Colin Farrell . . . not so much. Get that man a shower.

Woody fans can still look forward to the upcoming Vicky Cristina Barcelona, starring the auteur’s flavour of the decade, Scarlett Johansson, along with Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem (yowza). However, that film, shot in Barcelona, Spain, hasn’t freed itself from the red tape of controversy either. Some Spaniards have taken issue with the film’s appropriation of $1.4 million in government funding. Regardless, here’s to hoping that Johansson’s crackage inspired Woody to previously unheard of heights. Or something like that.

Previously: Ewan McGregor Is A Fruit, A Eulogy For Ewan McGregor’s Mole, Choose Life. Don’t Choose A Poor Sequel

Ewan “Whoops, There Goes My Kilt” McGregor appears in an interesting photo spread in the current issue of Mean Magazine. Obviously, Ewan means to channel Woody Allen, who directed Ewan and Colin Ferrell in the upcoming January 2008 film, Cassandra’s Dream. The chap isn’t doing such a bad job with the Woody impression, but the effect disappears once the glasses come off. Also, the cover shot isn’t too remarkable, but luckily, the magazine issued two alternate magazine covers featuring Emile Hirsch and Javier Bardem. Pick your flavour, so to speak.

As an aside, I’m wondering if Ewan could pull off an impression of this Woody look.

Related: Ewan owns up to his drinking problems.

On The Web: Mean Magazine (ONTD)

Did Ellen DeGeneres & Portia De Rossi split? (Popbytes)

Sarah Silverman just received the perfect Halloween costume! (Celebrity Smack)

The David Copperfield scandal keeps getting more bizarre. (Celebitchy)

Chris Judd is in touch with the inner workings of the Jennifer Lopez uterus. (Gabby Babble)

Josh Harnett & Mary-Kate Olsen have something in common. (Ayyyy!)

Carrie Underwood transforms blogger into quasi-famous “background person.” (IBBB)

Louis Vuitton now designs trash bags. Seriously. (POTP)

Katie Holmes emerges from the mothership. (Hollywood Offender)

Ewan McGregor: Oh, Bloody Hell With the UK. (Holy Moly)

Six naked Victoria’s Secret models, and I don’t recognize any of them. (Daily Stab)

Fight List: Go forth and kick some celebrity ass! (Pajiba)

The Simpsons might be a little past its sell=by date, but the characters from the never-ending series are deeply imbedded in global pop culture. According to the Times, Groundskeeper Willie is the best-known Scotsman on earth, more instantly recognizable than actual people like Ewan McGregor and Sean Connery. And the Scots aren’t happy about that.

“Think of the worst possible stereotype of the Scot,” writes Melanie Reid (whose last name sounds suspiciously Scottish), “double it, and you have got Willie — a red-haired, bearded, foul-tempered, incompetent, haggis-eating, testosterone-filled boor who spends his private time secretly videotaping couples in their cars.” Worse, according to survey group Ipsos MORI, that’s pretty much how Americans view the Scots. Scotland has spent years trying to upgrade its image in the world, and it can’t be good news to learn that Americans regard the Scots as a violent, backward lot with too many sheep on their hands. Even worse, younger Americans seemed to have only the dimmest idea of where Scotland was located, and many couldn’t name a single Scottish city.

Of course, you can’t generalize about these things. I’m American, and I’m well aware that Scotland is a sophisticated country with fine cities like Glasgow, whose friendly inhabitants are always ready to greet you with the famous “Glasgow kiss.” And, thanks to Trainspotting, I know that everyone in Edinburgh is a pasty-skinned heroin addict.

Ewan McGregor has wisely developed restraint from what he considers to be his poor choice in acting roles. As such, he’s refused a role in a possible Trainspotting sequel. As a successor to the 1996 film’s success, Irvine Welsh penned Porno in 2002, and now Welsh wants to make Porno into a sort of Trainspotting II.

When asked about making a film of Porno, Ewan said: “I really don’t think so. I didn’t really like the book as much.”

And he added of Welsh: “I thought he kind of wrote a sequel to the film in a way, instead of writing a sequel to his novel.

“I’ve always said that I loved Trainspotting so much that it would be a terrible thing to damage it by making a poor sequel. People would forget the great movie Trainspotting was.”

Exactly, and besides, who needs to see variations on the opium suppository sequence anyway? Next up for Ewan are rehearsals for his role as Iago in Othello at London’s Donmar Warehouse.

Note: The above images were taken a few months ago while Ewan was hosting a Londonian party for Burns Night. Obviously this party was pre-molectomy, but I couldn’t resist posting them since Ewan looks so damn good in a kilt. Surely, he can toast to the lassies anytime.

Source

Groovy Vic has alerted us to a sudden gravitational shift in the vicinity of one Ewan McGregor, who appears to have misplaced his prominent forehead mole on the way to the Venice Film Festival. Upon examination of other photos taken at the festival, we are quite distraught. In fact, we cannot even bear to post any of them, for the absence of the mole, coupled with the Billy-Ray-Cyrus-Meets-Alfalfa hairdo, along with the sunburned skin and slightly botoxed aura . . . sniff.

We’re not sure whether this mole was misplaced due to cosmetic or medical reasons, but Ewan seems to be making some fairly blunt statements lately, both of the verbal and physical variety. He has recently expressed regret for his enduring appearance in those crappy Star Wars prequels. His preference (as is ours) rests with Trainspotting and other such roles. Perhaps the mole was sacrificed to rid himself of the curse of the lightsaber.

Upon learning of Ewan’s molectomy, a most ecstatic Flea paused in his revelry to offer the following: “Funny. Now he looks kind of bland without the mole. It is as if his magic has gone.” Yep, this is all so very Samson and Delilah.

Source

Apparently, that story about Ewan McGregor’s love for Wonderjock was a direct result of a publicity stunt by the Austrailian underwear firm that makes the product. The company has issued to Ewan an apology that essentially states the actor needs no “lifting and promoting” of his nether regions:

The company behind the manhood-enhancing underwear has now acknowledged the McGregor story was incorrect, but confirmed the actor had bought other styles of AussieBum pants, according to the Sydney Daily Telegraph. A spokesman tells the publication, “He’s a fan of the brand generally and has bought several different items from the range, but certainly not the Wonderjock. Given his reputation, we doubt very much there would be a need for this.”

Exactly. Anyone who’s watched Velvet Goldmine can certainly draw a few conclusions about men with big moles.

Thanx to the #1 Ewan McGregor fan.

Source