Listen up, mates. If you’re not yet familiar with columnist Julie Burchill, let me perform a proper introduction merely by stating that she is a fucking goddess. She’s also pretty much got one of my three dream jobs in life, and Burchill now takes on the idiotic double standard that has people chirping that Kate [...]

Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan managed to dodge an arrest warrant, but it’s not for lack of trying. The entitled little brat spent a hefty amount of time at the Chateau Marmont bar and parted at Jack Nicholson’s House of Orgies™. Then, police were called to the scene when Lohan threw a vase through a [...]

As mentioned previously, Jack Nicholson and his bitchin’ shades were conspicuously absent from this year’s Oscars. In addition, two of last year’s winners, Javier Bardem and Daniel Day Lewis, were also missing from the program. As to the trio’s absence, I’d like to believe that these guys hit a bar and maybe played some strip [...]

Now that the annual Hollywood masturbatory circle-jerk session known as the Academy Awards is finally over, there is the full realization that one of the usual fixtures, Jack Nicholson, was missing from the audience. After much barely any consideration, I’ve determined five seven possible explanations for Nicholson’s absence: (1) All Drink and No Play makes [...]

For Halloween, I usually pull out the bats and, accordingly, decorate the blog, but, this year, I guess something distracted me from that usual course. So, this lame-ass, quasi-confessional list will just have to do, bitches. This is, of course, a list that will haunt me because it provides plenty of ammunition for future teasing, [...]

What woman could resist the wily charms of Vaughnzilla?
So, Valentine’s Day fast approaches, and you’d like to know how to repel females? As usual, we’ve got you covered:
John Leguizamo: ”You might as well come home with me now, because the things I’m going to do to you at home by myself you might want [...]

Right now, the world might hold a disproportionate number of balding, smartass guys with an indefinable aura of cool. Jack Nicholson, Mr. Cool himself, admits that he might have fathered as many as 9,000 children back in the freewheeling Sixties. “I used to live so freely,” the old codger reminisced in a recent [...]

Television blogs go dark to support the writers’ strike. (GB)
Joaquin Phoenix talks about the timing of River’s death. (CS)
Winona Ryder goes for the dork quotient. (KIsP)
Justin Timberlake gives better gifts on SNL than in real life. (Celebitchy)
Lydia Hearst goes blonde. (EB)
How Father Time Stole Teri Hatcher. (IBBB)
Claudia Schiffer: Back from fashion death. (Ayyyy!)
Angelina Jolie needs [...]