The Daily Mail has issued screechings that Kate Moss has dared to dine at Cipriani in Mayfair whilst wearing “a see-through dress and NO underwear.” As per their usual accuracy rate, the partially reliable English redtop does have a point in regards to Kate’s braless chest. However, since the dress is indeed quite sheer, it seems rather obvious that Moss is wearing thong knickers underneath her dress. In addition, nothing quite says “controversy” like a supermodel who only wears a bra when getting paid to model a bra. Then again, this redtop must be credited for its refreshingly new angle on its usual knee-scrutinizing or content-lifting routine.

These pictures follow the semi-annual speculation that Moss has or has not been dumped as the face of Rimmel cosmetics. She has not, nor will she ever in the coming decade, be dropped by Rimmel. In addition, the catfight with Allison Mosshart over Jamie Hince rumours are becoming a bit tired as well. So, for a quick change of pace, Kate is reportedly performing a duet with Sienna Miller this weekend at an Agent Provocateur event in Austria. Oh, and then there are these faux commando pictures as well. Good times, mates.

Images: Daily Mail

Agent Provocateur has brought back Kate Moss as the model of a most bizarre, so-called White Wedding campaign. The advert campaign is complete with Moss in bondage, a duo of screaming popes, and a “Let Them Eat Kate” sort of mentality. Of course, this is a wholly sociopolitical stance, according to one of AP’s very own spokespeople:

The inspiration behind this really was not to question the idea of marriage but to question the moralistic and religious overtones that are placed on marriage. It’s like you have one life before you are married and are forced into a totally new life after marriage. I am not disagreeing with the wedding day, it is more the handing over of yourself to the powers of the state that I don’t feel is right.

Since Kate reportedly plans on a Cockney marriage for her and boyfriend Jamie Hince on September 6, I wonder how she feels about acting as the poster girl for the campaign. My guess is that, as long as the money is right, Kate doesn’t give a shit about much at all. Meanwhile, the lingerie label doesn’t worry that this anti-wedding campaign might hurt wedding lingerie sales:

On the contrary, we should see an increase in bridal lingerie sales. I am sure that many of our customers who are “unconventional brides to be” will choose to shop for their bridal lingerie and accessories at Agent Provocateur.

While I know that things are different in England as far as the state’s involvement in marriage is concerned, I don’t think we have the same concern across the pond. After all, the U.S. is, generally speaking, the great purveyor of the no-fault divorce. Only when children are involved does our government actually take more than a passing interest in all things marriage and divorce related.

On The Web: Agent Provocateur

Oh, bloody hell, mates. First off, I would like to thank those of you who emailed me about this story. I cannot begin to explain how flattering it is that, when you hear of a new exploitation for crackhead Pete Doherty, your minds automatically lead you to pass said tidbit onto me. On with the show, mates.

So, the English red tops are all aflutter with the latest revelations that Pete Doherty may be newly obsessed with Scientology. In particular, The Sun claims that Doherty has stocked up on Scientology literature after he was photographed walking next to “Scientologist DJ Nadine Ruddy.” Naturally, if one walks next to someone else, they automatically want to adopt their religion.

A source said: “Nadine is really into Scientology. She takes her beliefs very seriously. Pete’s chatted a lot with her about it. He went out and bought some books to read up about it. He just wanted to find out more about Nadine and what she believes in.”

This air of mystery can easily be interpreted as this: Pete Doherty, after hearing rumours of Kate Moss’ as-of-yet unconfirmed engagement to the ruggedly sexy Jamie Hince, wants to look like he’s getting laid too. And, as everyone knows, the quickest route into a Scientologist’s pants is to brush up on the terminology, and, when all else fails, nod politely and sign up for a few auditing courses. Sexy.

Obviously, Scientology loves celebrities, and Pete Doherty is more of a celebrity than any other musician in England. Further, Scientology has really yet to crack England in the same manner as it has anchored its tentacles throughout the United States. However, the image-conscious cult probably isn’t interested in the junkie wastrel as the new face of Scientology:

• Pete Doherty is anti-establishment to the point of advocating “petrol bombers, mate, and fighting in the streets.”
• Pete Doherty talks too much and is easily twice the loose cannon as Tom Cruise, who can at least stay on topic.
• Pete Doherty will never stop taking drugs. While Scientology would love to claim him as a Narcanon™ success, the risk of failure is approximately 137%.
• Tom Cruise and John Travolta would shit twice and die before allowing Doherty into the cult. ‘Nuff said.

However, some good can come of these Scientology rumours that stem from Doherty being photographed (below left) with Nadine Ruddy. This provides the excellent opportunity to slap Doherty’s head onto Tom Cruise’s tiny little body. Bless their little cotton socks.



03.28.08 (8) Comments | Link

Score one for Kate Moss, whose life has drastically improved since her notorious cocaine shame, but dammit, folks, get your scandals straight. Of course, we’re speaking of News Of The World and their unsubstantiated orgy story, which unequivocally stated that Moss had enjoyed a foursome romp at her 34th birthday party. Now, NOTW retracts the article it pulled out of its ass:

SORRY KATE

We would like to apologise to Kate Moss and to her family and friends for any offence or distress caused by our article last week relating to alleged events at her 34th birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel.

The News of the World was offered detailed information from a normally reliable source which we now accept was untrue. We regret publication of that material in the RAV column and have agreed to pay Kate a sum in damages.

Pictured above, along with Moss, is Jamie Hince, the ubiquitous chain-smoking vegan guitarist of The Kills and six-month steady boyfriend of Moss. Much to Kate’s delight, no doubt, her pal Kelly Osbourne is decidedly unimpressed: “I call Jamie the grumpy old man because he likes a good moan - but he and Kate do work well together.” Yes, well. The Osbourne family isn’t exactly full of positive male role models, so we cannot blame Kelly for her rather nonexistent frame of reference.

Images from Celebutopia

Kate Moss experienced much of the usual drama over the past year. Not only did she finally dump Pete Doherty, but Kate helped her gay boyfriend, James Brown, launch a new haircare range and celebrated by receiving an unflattering fringe haircut. In addition, Kate’s firm, Skate Enterprise, increased its profits by $5 million despite losing seven lucrative fashion contracts. No doubt, launching a successful fashion line helped the supermodel keep things rolling financially upwards. Despite losing Doherty, Kate maintains her party-girl reputation by downing lots of champagne and any other available liquor. Over the holiday season, she and newest boyfriend Jamie Hince holed up at her Cotswold retreat, but they took care to look eco-friendly by stacking up their empty liquor bottles in recycling bins outside the home.

Towards the end of 2007, Kate ended her long-running feud with Sienna Miller, allegedly begged for poppers, missed Shane McGowan’s 50th birthday celebration, and hired a new nanny. In addition, Kate pissed off a late-night talk-show host by keeping her long-running practice of refusing television appearances. C’mon, do we really want to see Kate interviewed on television? I think not.

Holy Moly predicts that in 2008, it will, as usual, rain at the Glastonbury festival, “[H]owever Kate Moss still wears the same pair of denim hot pants she’s worn since 1998 as they would have to be surgically removed now.” Perhaps, but Moss somehow managed to shed all of her clothing for the an upcoming issue of Vogue Japan. Konichiwa!

Kate Moss has a new gal pal to party with — drag queen Jodie Harsh — who will, no doubt, fill the void left by Pete Doherty’s love of female lingerie. Kate should watch out though because Jodie Harsh reportedly outshines Moss when the two pose for pictures. It’s not unheard of for a woman to be upstaged by a drag queen, for I remember being on the dance floor and wondering why my legs seemed so short compared to a Shania Twain lookalike. However, it is another matter altogether when Kate Moss gets upstaged by a drag queen that looks like C.C. Deville on a bad day.

All eyes were on the striking figure of 23-year old Jodie, who was dressed in a sheer black top, silver metallic leggings and black platform shoes.

In comparison to the uber-glam Jodie, who is named after glamour model and Celebrity Big Brother contestant Jodie Marsh, Kate looked somewhat scruffy.

Miss Harsh, real name Jay Clarke, is said to be “the queen bee of the London party scene.” Kate looks like she’s having a great time with her new friend. However, boyfriend Jamie Hince looks less than thrilled at this new development in Kate’s social circle. Someone must be feeling left out.

Previously: Pete Doherty With A Bob, Doherty’s Implants Went Septic, Doherty Is Such A Drag

Now that Pete Doherty has evaded the law yet again by earning a reprieve from drug-related court supervision (six months early), he’s got a romantic agenda. As such, Doherty has rid himself of Canadian supermodel Irina Lazareanu, much to the relief of Pete’s friends, who summarized that brief relationship as such: “Irina has been following him around like a bad smell since the moment she caught his eye.” Now, Pete hopes to win back his true love, Kate Moss, who has conveniently progressed into the blazing row stage with current boyfriend Jamie Hince. In fact, The Kills guitarist was recently spotted storming out of Kate’s home after a boozy, 4:30 am fight.

So, things are looking good for Pete Doherty, but alas, a dark horse has been patiently waiting for Kate Moss to notice him and return his affections. Nikki Sixx, bassist of Motley Crue, has decided that marrying and divorcing two Playboy Playmates has taught him to look for a different type of woman:

“No more playmates. I’m on my knees begging for Kate Moss. Why’d you think I’m in London? I’m stalking her.”

Clearly, Nikki Sixx has decided to take the “bad smell” approach. He and Irina would probably get on quite well together.

Let us be . . . oh how do you say . . . blunt? At this stage of new romance, Kate Moss has projected what she wanted Pete Doherty to be onto this new guy, Jamie “Hotel” Hince of cult band The Kills. Apparently, the infatuation period has reached its pinnacle with characteristically great sex, and Kate, overjoyed to find an actual erection instead of a heroin-induced half staff, has proposed to her new fella. At least, that’s what the tabloids would have us believe from a so-called text message received by Kate’s Primrose set: “I love Jamie so much - we’re engaged!!” Right.

The night before her bold statement, Kate and The Kills guitarist Jamie, 39, attended a friend’s wedding and spent the night getting closer than ever.

“They had spent the night making love and Kate asked him during that.

“He was overjoyed because that’s what he wanted, too. They’re clearly totally in love with each other.

However, it seems rather obvious that Kate isn’t “formally” engaged, but rather, the couple is sending a signal to Pete Doherty to give up and stop sending her brooches encrusted with dead rodents. Good plan.

Seriously . . . REBOUND.