So, after I admitted my fading resistance to all things John Mayer, I also sort of realized that his music career isn’t merely a tabloid construct. Indeed, Mayer is actually a very good singer and guitarist, which is especially notable considering his douchebag status. Earlier today, I stumbled across a short film called, “Makin’ Music With John Mayer.” In the short, which was co-produced by Judd Apatow and Conan O’Brien, John spoofs the cliché of the artist who no longer wants for anything and has therefore lost his artistic edge:

Having not been inspired since 2004, I’ve established an idea room.

One of John’s employees tosses out song ideas, one of which is the classic boy-meets-girl / boy-loses-girl / boy-filled-with-regret storyline. His ideas are quickly shot down:

If I can’t get the girl, then why don’t I just tell her I’m John Mayer? How about something that everyone can relate to, like, when you’re fucking one supermodel and make the other ones jealous?

A few other highlights of the video include the employee hired only to do drugs and communicate his angst to John, who tells the guy to snort faster, which will, ideally, produce some song inspiration. Then there’s this little gem:

Have all the chords in music been found? Most people say yes. I say, “Not so fast, asshole.”

Catch the amusing short film below. Also present is a new PSA by John in full-on dork mode:

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For quite some time, I have resisted acknowledging the fact that John Mayer, manwhore extraordinaire, is slightly amusing. Obviously, he should never ditch the music career for stand-up comedy, for his decision to actually write a douchebag dissertation makes one wonder about his social filter, or lack thereof. Then again, John’s recent fixations upon perfectly awful hair have sort of make me snicker. Perhaps the guy just lacks some fine tuning of his comedic timing, or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit, in which case, I join Mr. Atoz in saying: Rock on, John Mayer.

Seriously, this t-shirt just does it. The little douchebag is growing on me.

Imagery: Dlisted

John Mayer is a reasonably talented guy who is widely suspected of having nailed something like eleventy bazillion gorgeous women in the last five years. Most recently he’s been linked with Jennifer Aniston, and a quick Google news search will turn up loads of speculation that Mayer is Jennifer’s latest forlorn attempt to forget Brad Pitt and that man-stealing bitch he’s shacked up with. But on his blog, Mayer didn’t even bother to discuss the Johnifer hypothesis. Instead, his latest entry is devoted to the number one love of his life—his hair:

Today I set off on my newest project; to grow and maintain an authentic ’80s style feathered haircut. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time and I’m very excited to bring this amazing look into today’s pop culture landscape. The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation. This is a work in progress, and as my hair grows longer it will serve to become a more stirring and poignant statement.

Mayer goes on to discuss some of his role models for this project, including Alex Keaton and Kristy McNichol, whom he calls “the goal personified.” No word yet on whether this project will let John Mayer join Eli Roth and Javier Bardem in the bedhead finals, but I say: Rock on, John Mayer. I for one am ready to be stirred in a poignant manner, and this election cycle really isn’t doing it for me.

John Mayer seems excessively drawn to the semantics of the word “douchebag,” and he discusses this riveting issue on his blog:

It feels good to say, “douchebag.” It’s got two different plosive sounds, the “D” and “B”, and nicely wedged between is a wonderful “sh” sound (technically known as a voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant, at the risk of coming off douchey) that, when preceded with “oooooh”, give your lips the sensation of sliding on a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks.

And “douchebag” was on the vinegary tips of everyone’s tongues this year. Trouble is, I’m not really clear on what it means, and I don’t know that anyone does. I know that I get called one. Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy, by measure of a google search, is a douchebag 11,100 times over, or the number of results that the search engine says exist. Zach Braff, who himself wrote one of the better films I’ve seen in the last decade is also frequently ‘bagged, as is some guy named Brody Jenner….

I personally don’t mind being called a douchebag. I’ve met my fair share of bloggers, and I’m much, much taller than them.

Well, John, since you seem to Google yourself regularly, you’ll probably find this discussion in short order, so lemme help you out. According to the Urban Dictionary, “douchebag” is defined as follows:

Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. [sic]

I do believe that you qualify as a “douchebag” merely by your pretentious use of language as reflected in the quoted paragraphs above. Pete Wentz similarly passes muster as a “douchebag” due to his ageist rant of entitlement when his band missed out on a Grammy nomination.

And John, while you’re brushing up on your hipster vocabulary, be sure and read up on “Tony Danza”. While totally unrelated to your current fixation, that little ditty might also clear up a thing or two.

The best thing about fame is flying on a private jet. - fergie

"If you want to save the planet, I want you to start jumping up & down. Come on, motherf*ckers!" Madonna

"Six degrees could separate us from a global environmental disaster of epic proportions." Kevin Bacon

"Can you believe I’m getting back together with those girls? What am I thinking?" Ginger Spice

"Cows fart & so do I." Dave Matthews

"Everyone who did not arrive on a private jet put your hands in the air." Simon Le Bon

"I want a fag. You can’t smoke anywhere in here." Liam Gallagher

"Just by being here today, just by turning up, is helping [sic] to create awareness of this very life-threatening situation." Toni Collette

"Snoop upside yah head! Where the ladies at??" Snoop Dogg

"C’mon, this is important!" Pauly Shore

"You know, sometimes, walking away from old habits is a hard thing to do. But that’s because it’s the right thing to do." Fergie

"[This] is not about gloom & doom. It’s a celebration." Philosopher / actress / great piece of ass Cameron Diaz

"Let’s make this world a better place! Peace be with you!" Yusef Islam, aka Cat Stevens, who previously called for the murder of Salman Rushdie

"I have a hybrid car that I try to use more than my other car." Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda

"What is my eco-sin? I don’t know if that is that provocative a question for me. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out what my motivation is." Crashing bore / former Jessica Simpson squeeze John Mayer

"What once seemed like science-fiction is now an inconvenient, if undeniable, truth." Renowned scientist / sometime actor Leonardo DiCaprio

"It’s just an enormous pop concert, or the umpteenth time that Madonna or Coldplay get up on stage." Sir Bob Geldof

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