Although it’s been almost a full year since a reader begged us to never again mention Vincent Gallo, we just can’t help ourselves in this instance. Basically, we’re jealous of his penis, not to mention being really super tired of saving up our coinage for wild, reckless indulgence at Gallo’s personal escort & sperm shack. Maybe, if we’re nice, he’ll give us a discount because $50,000 to $1,000,000 seems rather steep in terms of supply and demand. Hey, it never hurts to ask.

Last year, Gallo (jokingly. we hope) declared his Presidential intentions, which have since taken a sharp turn, er, south. According to Molly Friedman via Gawker, at a recent party, Vincent Gallo seemed rather enamored of a certain Vice-Presidential candidate’s family:

He said, “Look, have you seen that Palin family? She is so hot. And her daughters are so hot.” I said, “Which one, the pregnant one [Bristol, 17] or the younger one [Willow, 14]?” He said, “Both of them. They’re the hottest family I’ve ever seen.” I said, “So are you a pedophile?” And he said, “I’ve been called worse things.”

Naturally, Gallo didn’t much appreciate the assumptions that were made regarding this conversation, and he actually left the following comment at Gawker:

I was at Andres Serrano’s show and his PR girl Bettina asked if I would speak to someone from New York Magazine. I politely accepted though I preferred not to. However I assumed she wanted quotes about Andres’ show. As I chatted with the young woman, a drunken ugly cunt whore named Molly Friedman listened in. I was speaking about subject matter dealing with impact coming from today’s art world. Ms. Molly seemed thick headed, drunk, and confused though she pretended to understand and be interested like the cunning whore press cunt that she is. (Imagine what a pig she is to fuck.) In any case when the Palin family came up I mentioned how handsome they were as a family-how nice looking they all were-meaning I felt they were beautiful together and I enjoyed the idea that they may one day be the Vice Presidential family . . . . I was not and would never suggest I was sexually attracted to the Palin family daughters and I resent the whore Molly Friedman and Gawker for creating that spin. Let me remind the Gawker creeps that sex with minors is illegal and suggesting in any way that I am open for that is against the law, ugly, useless, rude, and small minded. The girl from New York Magazine has a tape of the entire conversation and I will shove it up Gawker’s ass if they do not retract Molly’s dishonest and ugly inventions. Fuck Gawker, fuck that ugly cunt Molly Friedman, and fuck all who have chimed in with their judgments, hate, resentments, and jealousy. I suggest you all read books, stay off the net, put down the chips and dips, and get in touch with what has made you so unhappy. For the record Molly, I will make you wish you were never born, you fucking cunt.

Regards,

Vincent Gallo

Well, that little tirade certainly restores his former respectability quotient, don’t it? For anyone who gives a rat’s ass, Intel has the full recorded conversation available:

[B]ecause we’re nosy bitches, we tracked down the tape and we’re publishing that section of it here. We spoke with Friedman, who said she spoke to Gallo for “five to ten minutes.” The entire tape of this conversation with our own reporter lasts 26 minutes, and Friedman is around for only about the first ten, so we’ve edited it down to the Palin section. In it, you can hear Gallo indeed tell our reporter that Sarah Palin is “the prettiest girl in the world” and that he’s “in love with her.”

Meh. No worries, Vincent, you can still plan on running for office in 2012. Short memories and all that.