Some curious rumors have suggested that not all is well with Charlotte Church. Last month the tabloids claimed she’d thrown out her fiancé Gavin Henson after he cheated on her with a Belfast barmaid. Earlier, there were even more troubling reports that she’d been torn apart by wild animals somewhere on Posh and Becks’ sprawling Hertfordshire estate. But all these stories amounted to little more than wishful thinking. (Not that we’d wish any harm to the Welsh Warbler. Nosirree bob.)

Instead, Charlotte is still more or less intact, and says she didn’t put any stock in the rumors of Gavin’s canoodling last month. According to her, the couple has a fairytale romance—or, in Church’s native Chav dialect, they’re “happy as pigs in shit.” Despite Charlotte’s long, long track record of misbehavior, she and Gavin seem like a relatively stable couple. Plus, she has the redeeming feature of hating Amy Winehouse. Funny how American celebrity skank duos like Britney and K-Fed never seem quite this durable. Clearly the whole chav thing merits more study on this side of the Atlantic.