This isn”””t surprising, but it”””s more than a little depressing. Check out this list of douche-baggery above and beyond the call of duty, by just about every big name in the world of rock.

Allow me to digress for a moment and share a lengthy personal vignette. Many, many years ago, back when I was no more than knee-high to a married grasshopper, I saw U2 on their first American tour. At the time no one had heard of the band except degenerate hipsters and some tragically hip middle-schoolers like myself, but when I heard they were coming to our town I bought a few tickets for me and a couple of friends. (Both male”””the emphasis here is tragically hip.)

The concert got off to a horrible start. Hardly any advance work had been done, and the venue enforced a bizarre dress code that banned anyone with funny-colored hair or punkish clothes”””i.e., at least half the people who showed up. As a result, when U2 came onstage they were greeted by maybe 45 people, in a hall that would seat 500. The effect was like tossing a handful of peas into an empty oil barrel. We rattled around aimlessly, waiting for the awful night to end, and assuming that no decent group would ever visit our town again.

After about 15 minutes, Bono stopped the show in mid-song and told everyone to come down and sit around the stage. When the pathetic little crowd was assembled, he addressed us in a thick Irish accent that has since completely disappeared.

”””Look,””? he began, ”””it”””s been ten days since we came over from Dublin [''''''Dooblin''''''], and we”””ve had an amazin””” time. We just finished three sold-out shows in New York City, and that was incredible. But you know what”””s more incredible? It”””s comin””” to a town where nobody”””s heard of us, nobody cares about us, and still provin””” that we”””re the best damn rock-and-roll band you”””ve ever seen. I don”””t care how many people are here tonight. You do your part,””? he concluded, and we”””ll do ours. And together, I promise you we”””ll have a wonderful time.””?

Bono and the lads proceeded to play their collective butts off for the next 2 ”” hours, in a situation where any other band would have stalked off the stage after a half-hour set. At one point Bono even grabbed my arm and yanked me onto the stage, and I found myself dancing with the guy. To this day that remains one of the three or four best shows I”””ve ever seen, and I”””ve always had a ton of respect and affection for U2. And now, to find out that Bono reserved a first-class airline seat for his freakin””” hat (see Item #12 on the list)”””. Well, let”””s just say that my persistent cynicism really didn”””t need that booster shot.

Go ahead. Peruse the list. Whatever your tastes in pop music, I guarantee that someone you like is on there, behaving exactly the way you”””d expect a celebrity to behave”””which is to say, like someone with way too many dollars and way too little sense.