Just a few more weeks until we find out if Jack Bauer is going to succumb to some form of weaponized Mad Cow Disease (hint: he’s already signed up for at least two more seasons, so unless the writers are taking the character in a bold new direction that involves lots of drooling, babbling, and loss of physical coordination, I say no), but it sounds like a few of Kiefer Sutherland’s fans are developing their own peculiar brand of dementia. Or so you might think, judging by the couple Kiefer Sutherland sat next to on a New York-to-London flight:

On my flight here a couple next to me said, ‘We feel much safer on the plane with you here’…. I couldn’t figure it out. If you’ve seen 24 you’d know anyone within three feet of me dies.”

Kiefer’s got a point–two points, really. First, anyone who’s seen the show knows that even being acquainted with Jack Bauer is tantamount to a friggin’ death sentence. Second, Kiefer Sutherland is not Jack Bauer. Although Kiefer seems like a decent enough guy. Lord knows, there’s no better man to have at your side if you’re ever assaulted by a Christmas tree.