Welcome to Hell. I’m Your Boss, Pauly Shore

By Mr. Atoz in Pauly Shore

Pauly Shore

The job market isn’t all that great right now, and rather than holding out for a dream job, people are inclined to take anything they can get–barista, manager in a fast-food outlet, supermarket clerk, whatever. They’re all menial jobs, but at least they pay the bills. You might even be desperate enough to sign on as personal assistant to Mr. Pauly Shore. Okay, that last example is probably a bit extreme. But seriously, how bad could it be? Let’s take a look at a few questions from the application:

• Are you a fan of Pauly? If you are, be very specific – tell some of your favorite Pauly Shore movies/shows/moments.
• Who are the top three people that you know in the industry that you can get on the phone immediately?
• Being that you would be Pauly’s assistant, you would know every little personal thing about him … so he would like to know everything about you. So please tell us information about yourself.
• Do you have access to interns/PAs that would occasionally work under you for free?

Kee-rist. I’d sign up as a rodeo clown before I’d take this gig. Personal assistant to a rodeo clown. Back-hair groomer to Mr. Ed Asner. It speaks volumes about the depths of our economic slump that someone was actually hired for this position. The poor schmo who took this job needs to be on a 24-hour suicide watch, with attendants nearby to ensure he doesn’t have access to guns or knives. Or sharp objects. Or dull objects. Actually, after a few days on the job you could probably escape the position just by willing your heart to stop beating.



7 comments

carrie

who is Pauly Shore? 8-O

05.27.11 | 4:27 pm

You can see a sample of Pauly’s comic stylings here (with extra Brendan Fraser from one of the many chapters in his career he’d rather forget). Damn, I’m getting old.

05.27.11 | 4:40 pm
jmflynny

My daughter was a front desk supervisor at a hotel where he stayed. She said he was a complete and total prick: Very entitled, very demanding.

05.27.11 | 10:15 pm
the wolf

It must be difficult to find someone to talk all the calls Pauly Shore isn’t getting.

05.28.11 | 11:56 am

[...] Pauly Shore needs your help! Well, Pauly Shore needs help; we all knew that! (AgentBedhead) [...]

05.29.11 | 9:02 am

[...] Welcome to Hell. I’m Your Boss, Pauly Shore Agent Bedhead [...]

05.30.11 | 2:04 pm

[...] Shore is looking for a personal assistant and YOU can apply. I know, you just [...]

05.31.11 | 4:06 pm
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