Jon – Kate = Jon + Octomom is a disaster that might or might not happen, but Jon Gosselin is still hard at work trying to forge some celebutard version of the Rome-Berlin-Tokyo Axis. Latest putative ally: Michael Lohan, who might be the only person Jon could hook up with who’s worse than Octomom. The two men seem to be spending a lot of time together, probably swapping tips on parenting and making your marriage work. And Michael, shrewd judge of character that he is, seems quite taken with young Jon. In fact, Mike Walker of the National Enquirer reports that Michael is telling Jon he can hook him up with Lindsay, making them “the most famous couple in America.”
Exactly how this will work is unclear. Lindsay is in the process of taking out a restraining order against her dad, so he’ll have to do his matchmaking from a minimum distance of 500 yards. Moreover, LiLo is still wallowing in some Ronson-related emotional tar pit, regardless of whether or not Samantha Ronson wants anything to do with her. And Lindsay’s response—“What? Is he trying to pimp me out now?”—suggests Jon Gosselin isn’t her top pick for Rebound Guy. Still, this might work out for the best. The public is getting sick and tired of all of these people, and putting Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin in the same room might create a black hole of suckitude so intense it could swallow them both. Two down, too many more to go.
