I can’t honestly recommend that you watch this video of Erin Moran (who, about fifty years ago, played Joanie Cunningham on Happy Days) faking a volcanic orgasm, although watching it might be a smart move if you’ve decided that sex is way too much of a bother and you’d like to give it up for the next decade or so. Pretty the video is not, but it’s undeniably educational. I learned that Celebrity Fit Club, one of those shows I’ve never seen, is a reality show that induces violent epileptic fits in a bunch of washed-up former celebrities traveling by bus. And I’m afraid I also learned that after I die, I’m going to find myself trapped on a bus with Willy Aames, Dustin Diamond, and a hyperorgasmic Erin Moran, because I have led a terrible, terrible life.