It’s Tuesday, or topic day for the Demystifying Divas and the Men’s Club. ‘Tis a pleasure that Miss Ruth has also joined us this week for our discussion of sexy (or not-so-sexy) scents.

Pheromones are conceptually the scent of sexual attraction that animals release to lure mates. These are at work within lions, tigers, Antonia Banderas, and all the other creatures you never want to see having sex. They are supposedly released as airborne chemicals that are undetectable as odors, and in humans, the prevailing theory is that they spring out of our armpits. Yeah, that’s sexy baby.

Thanks to creative marketing, some would try to convince the more unsuspecting souls that rubbing pheromone-containing potion on their bods can make us attractive to the opposite sex. Heh. The truth is, the science isn’t out on just how useful pheromones can potentially be. The only two absolute proofs of their existence are reflected in (1) Projection of human moods - the notion about why people find you more attractive when you are in love - and (2) Women who spend time together often end up with similar or identical monthly cycles.

Now various websites would hope to convince you that their $96 dollar cologne contains pheromones that will get you laid until the next century. Don’t fall for this one, lest you waste that cash. Colognes, sprays, and pills that contain pheromones are considered “supplements” and therefore not subject to the FDA regulation as prescription drugs and over-the-counter medicines. Virtually no regulation or inspection of these colognes, and you wanna put this on your skin? They could contain anything, even female dog pheromones, which only cause you to be sexually attractive to male canines:

Those sex-crazed mutts violated my body and used me! They made me their bitch! I agreed to try the pheromones Dr. Payne was studying because he gave me twenty bucks, and I was hoping to get with some of the sorority girls, even though I’m not in one of the popular fraternities. I never bargained for this. It was horrible! Who let the dogs out?

*Ahem* Obviously that’s one adorable canine, but surely you don’t desire him humping your leg. So as far as increasing sexual aura is concerned, old-fashioned soap and water will do the trick. After all, there really is nothing like a hot, steamy shower to make one feel sexy and attractive. Heh.

Now go visit Kathy, Chrissy, and Silk for more diva action. For the male perspective, see Phin, Peter, Puffy, Zonker!