Wishful Thinking #6: Nicole Kidman's Career Resurrection

By Bedhead in Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Smoking Bolts, Vanity, Wishful Thinking

Nicole Kidman at 2010 Golden Globes

In a mildly interesting development, Nikki Finke exclusively reports that Nicole Kidman has, in a desperate move to save an inexpressibly flailing career, hired Angelina Jolie’s manager:

There can be no doubt in anybody’s mind that Nicole Kidman’s career is in deep, deep trouble. That’s because, even though she’s talented and used to make $16M-$17M for a lead role in a major studio movie, she’s become poison at the box office — the female equivalent of Sean Penn (but with botox…). So it’s very understandable that she now feels the need for more career guidance. I’ve learned that Nicole has made a major change in her representation: she’s become a client of Angeline Jolie’s manager Guyer Kosinski of Media Talent Group.

So, Kidman’s notoriously immutable face has finally had an effect on her selling power, but if she thinks an Angelina-like career is possible, Nicole’s gonna have to take the hell up and put down the botox needle. Of course, in the not-so-recent past, I’ve certainly pissed off some Nicole fans with all the botox talk, but it’s absolutely true that injecting this toxin has made it virtually impossible for Nicole to even smile without straining like she’s on the damn toilet. Quite simply, Nicole Kidman is no longer an actress; she’s just “blank girl,” who is now incapable, thanks to a botox addiction, of expressing believable emotion. These sort of results are comparable to what sort of art Vincent Van Gogh would have created if he’d taken antidepressants. Just the other day, Kaiser at Celebitchy discussed the trade rumours that Nicole’s been fired from three films:

[I]s it because of the frozen face, or because Nicole has been a consistent box office flop for several years now? Which came first, the chicken of the egg? Because I think the audience started to leave Nicole around the time she started doing that junk to her beautiful face.

And one of the comments to Kaiser’s post absolutely had me in stitches:

Don’t know if it’s true or not, but word on the street is that when Nicole was axed from the first film she cried inconsolably. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even show real emotion with her taught lifeless face. The only way you could tell she was crying was the noise she made and the tears squirting out from her eyes vertically upwards like a windshield washer.

Okay, that comment was a bit mean, but, admit it, you could totally picture that happening, right? And I think Kaiser is right on the money here, for it’s terribly sad that an actress who was once capable of communicating the full range of emotions (i.e., in 2001, Nicole did excellent turns in two very different roles within The Hours and Moulin Rouge) now seems forever frozen in time… while the rest of the world continues to move forth.


[...] Nicole Kidman revives career: hires Angelina

01.25.10 | 3:44 am

WHAT is going on with Nicole Kidman’s makeup these days? A few weeks ago she had powder all over her face, and in this picture it looks like her foundation and blush were applied in the dark. This is just getting weird.

01.25.10 | 6:19 am

the last movie where i loved Nicole Kidman’s acting was “birth”.The scene when she understands during a opera (or a classic concert ?)her husband is really dead is incredible!!! :evil:

01.25.10 | 7:13 am

It’s just so very sad. I started chuckling during the Haiti telethon, when she was giving her dramatic speech. She couldn’t even look properly concerned! I hope she stops and quickly. I really used to like her.

01.25.10 | 10:28 am

Meanwhile, Tom Cruise and Sean Penn are to suckering RPatz into doing a movie with them, because that’s the only way anyone would come to see them in a movie anymore.

01.25.10 | 12:25 pm

I’ve never really been a big fan, even before she lost the ability to look human. I still don’t necessarily like her, but she did a film called “Dogville” a few years back and honestly shocked the hell out of me – she was (imho) absolutely flawless in it.

01.25.10 | 8:53 pm

Oh yeah – and she also needs to pick movies that don’t SUCK! The Hours – YAWN. Moulin Rouge – what kind of fuckery was that? And that stupid movie she did with Tom Cruise right before they split – about some cult/getting naked wearing robes and masks – I still have no idea what that movie was about and why I even watched it in the first place – maybe because I kept hoping at some point I’d understand WTH was happening, other than just some gratuitous Tom Cruise porn.

01.26.10 | 2:16 pm

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