It’s only scant hours until the Rapture, and—let’s be honest here—come Monday I’ll be right back here writing snark and practically all of you will still be here to read it. But for the benefit of those who are about to depart, we might as well end things on a high note. So it gives me great pleasure to report that the widely reported story of Kerry Campbell, the mother who was injecting her 8-year-old daughter with Botox and planned to get her implants when she turned fourteen, is a big fat hoax. “Campbell” (real name: Sheena Upton) revealed the whole story was a hoax after Child Protective Services took her daughter away. Subsequent tests showed there was no evidence the child had ever been injected with Botox.

TMZ has been poking into this story like Botox needles in a schoolgirl’s face, and they feel there’s convincing evidence that Upton was going to receive money from the Sun in the UK and ABC’s Good Morning America and Inside Edition for this story. The site has at least one email that looks rather damning, if it’s authentic. (Best part of the instructions for Upton, from the broker who arranged the interview: “2. ABC will deny paying you if they are asked. 3. You cannot talk to any other press or they won’t pay.”) Now the media parties are staking their journalistic honor on the authenticity of the story, while Upton concedes she’s a money-grubbing attention whore, but not someone who’d do that to their daughter.

So: as a society, we haven’t actually sunk low enough to produce a mom who’d inject a third-grader with poison in hopes of turning her into a celebrity. On the other hand, we do have people who’ll lie about it, and other people who will pay those liars big bucks to promote their story. This Rapture thing is probably long overdue.