You Can Save This Person, or You Can Turn Away

Paris Hilton’s lawyers are furiously working to appeal her jail sentence, but being appealing has never been her forte. Unless the Governator intervenes, Paris is probably less than a month away from disappearing into the bowels of the California penal system, only to emerge six weeks later with neck tattoos and a mullet. If you want to keep this horrible possibility from becoming a beautiful reality, here’s what you can do:

First, you can go here to sign the online petition asking Governor Schwarzenegger to pardon Ms. Hilton. Why not? After all, as the petition notes, “she provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives,” and if Nixon could get a pardon from Ford, then anybody can get a pardon. Or, alternatively, you can go to freeparis.org and buy stuff. Because, let’s face it, that’s what Paris Hilton would do. These guys have all sorts of gear: t-shirts, bumper stickers, buttons, hoodies, and thongs. Somehow that last one just doesn’t seem appropriate.

Update: In the interests of equal time, it seems only fair to note that there’s also a “Jail Paris Hilton” petition out there. Right now, the petition to send Paris to the slammer has a little over 5300 signatures. The petition to free her…. Umm, not so much.