Yes, last night Katy Perry emceed MTV’s Europe Music Awards, proving that Europe’s claim to some sort of cultural superiority over America is a big fat lie. However, the high point of the evening was David Hasselhoff’s awards presentation, which had everyone talking for the rest of the night. Once again we see the truth of the old adage: Germans love David Hasselhoff.

And by “love” we mean “hate”, which is some weird Teutonic Liebestod paradox I don’t really understand. Der Spiegel devoted quite a few column inches to explaining how much they detested the guy, and how they writhed in shame knowing the world mocked them for their devotion. Then they capped the whole thing by admitting they don’t know how to quit the Hoff:

Maybe we should all try and see it from the perspective of “the Hoff.” After all, he cannot shoulder all the blame for the destruction of one country’s reputation. Who knows, maybe Germany’s volatile love for his pop songs ruined his life. If that’s the case, it’s probably better to talk about collective blame.

Somehow, that just doesn’t seem like enough. You people can’t turn “Hooked on a Feeling” into an international hit amd then claim you were only following orders.